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Open Post: Hosted By The Skeleton Strip Club
Huffington Post says that a Halloween display in Texas is pissing people off, as usual. But this is a bit more unique, in that the reason for the seasonal anger is: the skeletons are strippers. And...
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Open Post: Hosted By Heidi Klum’s Halloween Horror Movie
Heidi Klum didn’t throw her big annual Halloween party this year because of, you know, coronavirus. But the Queen of Halloween didn’t let a deadly infectious disease keep her down and instead, did a...
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Election Day Open Post: Hosted By Animals Predicting The Next POTUS
Animals. They’re incredibly lucky, because they don’t know shit about politics. What’s voting? Electoral fraud’s some kind of squeaky toy, right? Are “proud boys” the ones who feed me? So I’m a touch...
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Open Post: Hosted By Cardi B Stress Smoking Three Cigarettes At Once While...
How are you dealing with election stress? I opted for a late night Popeye’s chicken sandwich and downed another for breakfast (Buy One Get One deal on Uber Eats). Many of my friends drank themselves...
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Open Post: Hosted By “The Masked Dancer” Visiting You In Your Sleep
I saw a tweet once, and at the time, I thought it was one of the most laughably deranged theories of the QAnon era. Today, I’m not so sure. When failed California Republican Congressional candidate...
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Open Post: Hosted By This Poor CNN Anchor Forced To Do Math Live On Television
I’m sure most of you have spent the past four days wearing down the edge of your seats with butt-clenched anxiety. But last night, CNN anchor Bill Weir’s anxiety hit Mars when he was tasked with...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Mindlessly Cute Animal Video
Now that America has successfully fumigated the White House (although, I won’t really believe it until Cupcakke performs The National Anthem at Joe Biden’s inauguration, please tell me that Cupcakke...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Genie Lamp That A Doctor Got Duped Into Buying
The pandemic is getting to all of us, but no one can argue that healthcare workers have been hit the hardest. Day after day, they have to deliver care through dangerous conditions, often without...
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Open Post: Hosted By Chet Haze Bringing Out His Jamaican Patois To Celebrate...
Chet “Cool Runnings” Hanks is back with more of his highly-natural, authentic, and non-offensive Jamaican accent. Chet made headlines after he busted out the Drake-imitation at the 2020 Golden Globes...
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Open Post: Hosted By VR Furries Taking Over Four Seasons Total Landscaping
You bet your ass I laughed at the headline despite having zero clue what a “VR furry” was. The Four Seasons Total Landscaping debacle was just that hilarious. Now, in my mind, I imagined real people...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Dude Hanging Naked From A 660-Foot Crane
Humans are known to do dumb things. And more often than I think they should, those stupid actions meet at a crossroads with nudity. Enter: 19-year-old climber Adam Lockwood. Adam climbed to the top of...
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Open Post: Hosted By Alex Trebek Cursing Up A Blue Streak
The dearly departed Alex Trebek kept it tight right up to the end, both physically and professionally. For three decades, anyone looking for a stern, erudite zaddy to keep them on task need only to...
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Open Post: Hosted By Lil Nas X As Lil Santa X
Lil Nas X has decided to come out with a Christmas song. But since he’s a 21-year-old Gen Z and the youth generation are all about that inclusivity, while it is Santa-themed it’s called Holiday so...
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Open Post: Hosted By Eva Mendes Redefining “Pain In The Neck”
Once you see the pic of Eva Mendes linked below, you’ll be glad I didn’t use it for the main one in this post, especially if you’re needle-averse. The terrifying picture is after the cut. You’ve been...
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Open Post: Hosted By The French School That Had To Tell Tardy Parents Not To...
I know parents are always telling their children to stay in school and aim high, yet I’ve never known any that literally toss their children over the school’s gate to make sure they get their...
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Open Post: Hosted By Jack Black Doing The “WAP” Dance
There’s some whores in this house, and it turns out one of them is Jack Black! A decided improvement over Kylie Jenner. Yesterday the School of Rock star (he’ll always be Dewey Finn to me) posted an...
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Open Post: Hosted By Yeti The Skateboarding Pussy
Pussies. They like to mirror their mommies and daddies. So if you’re super into, ohhh, I dunno, sleeping all day, binge-eating, and pooping in a box (the toilet’s too far, OK?!), your cat will...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Bear-Scaring Robot Wolves Of Japan
That wolf looks like it was thrown together using an off-brand Black Panther mask, old Christmas lights, and a costume from Cats, but yet it’s still more lifelike and terrifying than the wolves from...
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Open Post: Hosted By This FedEx Driver Jamming Out To “All I Want For...
I love belting out my favorite songs in the car. Good for anxiety, good for the soul! But because I live in the city and use public transportation, I am forced to remain silent. UNTIL… face masks! Now...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Rock Hawking A $1,000 Ice Ball Maker
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is already the richest actor in the game. As a rich person who wants to stay rich, The Rock has his fingers in many pies (Insert: “He could finger my pie,” joke). His latest...
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