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Open Post: Hosted By Jeff Goldblum Recreating That Shirtless Scene From...
As BuzzFeed points out, Jeff Goldblum has mercifully recreated that nipples-out scene above––from 1993’s Jurassic Park. Jeff updated it to 2020 standards, throwing in some salt and pepper (mostly...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Sheep On A Trampoline
At this point, who hasn’t wanted to bounce the fuck right out of 2020? Take a lesson from Bammie, the adorable Dutch sheep who discovered a trampoline in their owner’s backyard and proceeded to...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Wedding Ultimatum From The Target Bride
As far as ambush marriage-shit goes, this is the absolute fucking worst. Like, worse than those public proposals which end in failure. A woman decided that enough was enough, and ambushed her fiancé...
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Open Post: Hosted By Zoe Kravitz As Selina Kyle/Catwoman
The Batman is the newest iteration of Batman which we didn’t need but Hollywood is going to give it to us anyway. Robert Pattinson is somehow a broodier (read: greasier and Emo-ier) Bruce...
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Open Post: Hosted By Elvira’s Musical Plea To Not Cancel Halloween!
According to Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, conditions for this year’s Halloween are supposed to be perfect. It’s on a Saturday, the weather is supposed to be nice (I guess…for the entire world?), and...
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Open Post: Hosted By This House’s Halloween Decorations That Have People...
When I first read that people were calling 911 over a house’s Halloween decorations, I expected an X-rated front yard tableau of a kinky demon orgy. Lots of chains, spiked dildos, and blood-curdling...
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Open Post: Hosted By This Doggy Who Shall Not Pass
Introducing Kit, the 17-year-old pussy from Belfast who moonlights as a no-nonsense bouncer. Meet Brewster, the 8-year-old doggy who just wants to get into the living room and join his mommy for some...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Unofficial Megan Thee Stallion “Savage” Remix,...
Alex Trebek is a legend. And, after 94 years as the host of Jeopardy!, he’s also shown himself to be a bit of a savage. And Alex further cemented that reputation when one of the clues from Thursday’s...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Vulture Landing On A Paraglider’s Selfie Stick
Nowadays, if a vulture (famous scavenger birds known for showing up when something is dead, or about to die) came within ten feet of me, I’d probably just shrug and accept it…because, I mean, look at...
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Open Post: Hosted By This Insane Scene From A Tyler Perry TV Show
Billionaire filmmaker Tyler Perry is so powerful he constructed his very own 330-acre Atlanta own film studio. Man is so rich he’s adding a private airstrip to his 35,000 square foot mansion. Dude is...
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Open Post: Hosted By Exhibitionist Pandas
For the first time ever, filmmakers have captured the mating rituals of pandas in the wild. It turns out all they need is a little privacy, something they lack in captivity, and now we’ve probably...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Kitten Massaging A Hungry Corgi
Awwww, look! It’s a teeny tiny smushy-faced kitten massaging a Corgi dog while he attempts to scarf down his lunch. Hey, anything to make an extra buck in this economy! Now, is the cat working out an...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For Ryan Murphy’s “The Prom”
I watched this new trailer for the Ryan Murphy’s take on the Broadway musical The Prom for Netflix and thought, “oh, so it’s like if Ryan Murphy did Glee” and it took me waaaaay too long to remember...
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Open Post: Hosted By President Ariana Grande In The Video For “Positions”
Ariana Grande released the first single from her new album which is expected to be out next week, October 30. The song Positions is about pretty much what you’d assume. Yoga. No, obviously it’s about...
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Open Post: Hosted By McBroken, The Website That Tracks Every McDonald’s With...
It’s a shame that this year’s Nobel prizes have already been handed out, because the award for Economics (and, frankly, for Peace), should definitely have gone to the 24-year-old who put together a...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Time That Dame Judi Dench Gave Her Goldfish...
Nothing like a weekend story about 85-year-old acting legend, Dame Judi Dench, putting her lips on a big, floppy…fish, and blowing it back to life. There’s a joke in there that I’m just not going to...
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Open Post: Hosted By Chris Evans’ Newest Thirst Trap Featuring His Dog, Dodger
Chris Evans knows how to churn up some attention. When his dick pic accidentally blew the Internet up, he turned it into an opportunity to raise voting awareness. Chris recently shared a picture of...
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Open Post: Hosted By Madonna’s Port-A-Potty Photoshoot
Nothing says “hot hygienic glamour” like flashing your ass in and around a Port-a-Potty during COVID-times. This is exactly what COVID survivor Madonna did for her latest photoshoot for… I’m not sure....
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Open Post: Hosted By Ceiling Bodega Cats
We’ve seen bodega cats, and we’ve felt the omnipotent presence of Ceiling Cat whenever we masturbate so we know they’re real, but are we ready to accept ceiling bodega cats as our adorable yet coolly...
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Open Post: Hosted By Lark Voorhies Returning As Lisa Turtle In The “Saved By...
Our throaty cries of “JUSTICE FOR LISA TURTLE” have not been in vain! According to Entertainment Weekly, Lark Voorhies, who played Bayside High’s most glamorous student, will be back for the upcoming...
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