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Open Post: Hosted By The Frozen Pairs Of Pants That Are Calling Dibs On...
Okay, but honestly, the pair of pants on the right is serving a coy, seductive leg pose. Or I’m just so hard up that even a damn pair of frozen pants look sexy to me? Definitely the second one. Adam...
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Open Post: Hosted By Vagina-Scented Face Masks, Just In Time For Valentine’s Day
Eat your pretentious, candle-sniffing heart out, GOOP! The latest craze in olfactory-busting grossness is to sell “slightly used” COVID-19 masks marinated in the finest of ladyparts, for the highly...
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Open Post: Hosted By Shawn Mendes And Camila Cabello Getting Into Some Foot...
Camila Cabella and her boyfriend, Shawn Mendes have been at this PDA thing for a while. Coronavirus really put a damper on their ability to make out in public spaces and in front of the biggest window...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Thin, Thin Ice Of The Netherlands
It’s an exciting time to be Dutch. For the first time in three years, canals in the Netherlands have frozen over, meaning the people of Amsterdam can strap on their skates, Tara Lipinski around...
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Open Post: Hosted By Lenny Kravitz Joining The Cast Of “Shotgun Wedding”
When Armie Hammer “stepped away from” (aka was fired from) the upcoming film Shotgun Wedding, the producers had a herculean task ahead of them. One, find a handsome actor to replace him (check). And...
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Open Post: Hosted By Jennifer Love Hewitt Talking About The Time She Got...
During yesterday’s episode of The Drew Barrymore Show, Jennifer Love Hewitt was on and her chat with Drew Barrymore led to her talking about the time she got plastered with 99-year-old international...
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Open Post: Hosted By Alexis, The Record-Breaking Pussy Who Turned 26 Tricks...
Cats are not known for their obedience. They generally do whatever the fuck they want, and we humans just have to go along with it in the hopes that, eventually, they’ll bless us with a cuddle. Or...
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Open Post: Hosted By Michelle Pfeiffer Nailing Catwoman’s Whip Stunt In One Take
Two movies starring Michelle Pfeiffer came out in 1992: Love Field and Batman Returns. Michelle got a Best Actress Oscar nomination for Love Field (she lost to Emma Thompson who won for Howard’s End)...
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Open Post: Hosted By Justin Bieber’s Tears At The Sight Of His New Rolls Royce
Typically when you read or hear the word “tears” along with Justin Bieber‘s name, you assume it’s what involuntarily happens to your eye sockets when subjected to one of his songs, or when suddenly...
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Open Post: Hosted By Ricki Lake’s Engagement!
Apparently, I’m a Ricki Lake fan, cuz, even though I haven’t thought of her in ages, my body did a full “Awwww!” when I read the news she got engaged. His name is Ross Burningham, he’s a lawyer, and...
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Open Post: Hosted By TikTok Discovering Jennifer Aniston’s Vocal Tic On...
Do you have any vocal tics? Like smacking your lips or stuttering or snorting or sucking your teeth? Apparently, I click my tongue. And I guess Jennifer Aniston liked to clear her throat a lot when...
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Open Post: Hosted By This Embarrassing Pre-Pandemic Tattoo
Listen, I’ve seen some dumb tattoos in my time. One of my friends has an ankle tat with the word “improv” written into an infinity sign that is also somehow an anchor. Because… improv comedy anchors...
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Open Post: Hosted By This Kitty Begging To Get Pet
Her name is Asher. She’s one and a half years of age. And she’s a genius. Cuz this little baby has figured out how to manipulate her human into providing her with precious scritches n’ scratches —...
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Open Post: Hosted By An Exquisitely Realistic Carpool-Lane Dummy
When you’re stuck in traffic in L.A. and staring at the people in the next car to see if the driver is trying to shamelessly text, eat, zhuzh their hair, take a selfie, and steer the wheel all at...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Wax Figure Seat Fillers At Peter Luger Steak House
As restaurants in New York are gradually permitted to open up reduced-capacity indoor dining while still respecting COVID-19 social-distancing protocols, creative solutions are bubbling up in order to...
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Open Post: Hosted By Erik The Kangaroo Aggressively Hugging His Human Momma
I would love to be hugged by a kangaroo. Or a big, soft tiger. Or a Snorlax. And I know that last one is a Pokémon, but we’re talking wildest dreams and wishes here, not reality. For Linda Davies, my...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Burglar Caught Cheeto-Handed
The New York Post says that one petty criminal was easily apprehended thanks to a need to eat Cheetos mid-crime. No, it wasn’t Lil Xan not learning his lesson. One Sharon Carr of Oklahoma was arrested...
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Open Post: Hosted By Froot Loops Pizza
Because it’s 2021 and we’re quickly running out of new combinations of gross shit, Froot Loops pizza exists. This pizza was “created” by the restaurant Fong’s Pizza in Des Moines, Iowa. It’s one of...
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Open Post: Hosted By David Schwimmer Confirming That The “Friends” Reunion Is...
NBC’s Friends ended in 2004, and it feels like we’ve been talking about a Friends reunion every day since. Well, David Schwimmer recently gave an update on HBO Max’s Friends reunion special, and it’s...
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Open Post: Hosted By Lola Bunny’s New Figure In “Space Jam: A New Legacy”
Horny millennials whose burgeoning libidos were informed by a cartoon rabbit’s tits are up in arms over the character redesign of Lola Bunny for the upcoming Space Jam remake. Gone are Lola’s...
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