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Open Post: Hosted By The Time That Sharon Stone Was Struck By Lightning
62-year-old Sharon Stone was on the podcast Films To Be Buried With to talk about her long, illustrious career ad movies. But fuck all that! Who wants to know about her “art” when she also talked...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Turkey Named Gerald Who Is Attacking People In An...
Now, this…THIS is some fowl behavior (sorry, I couldn’t help it). I’m telling you, birds…they know what’s up. People are mostly awful and birds have finally had it. Officially. According to People,...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Taiwanese Politician Breaking Chopsticks With His...
They say that politics are a pain in the ass––and for good reason. But when your entire platform is literally based around doing painful things to your own ass, you’ve reached a new level of...
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Open Post: Hosted By Jennifer Garner Talking About The Pap Stroll Icon That...
Saying that a celebrity “got papped pushing her pussy” would mean something completely different for someone like Kim Kardashian, but for Jennifer Garner, it means that she was seen pushing her actual...
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Open Post: Hosted By Mopey Pocket Hottie Kit Harington’s Shaved Head
Some days we must take the little blessings where we can find them, for they are to be treasured above all else. Today’s little blessing is a scowly, pint-sized, freshly shorn beefcake in skintight...
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Open Post: Hosted By Goop’s New Orgasm-Scented Candle
Gwyneth Paltrow has had so much time to think in quarantine that she came up with the follow-up to her infamous pussy candle. She was on The Tonight Show via video call from her luxurious looking...
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Open Post: Hosted By Raven-Symoné’s Surprise Wedding
Raven-Symoné has decided to keep today’s Surprise! theme going by surprising everyone with the news that she got married to her girlfriend Miranda Maday this week. The coronavirus might have forced...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Insane Glamour In This Insane Political Ad
WARNING: If you proceed further, you will not be able to fight the urge to pull out your credit card and run your ass down to the finest boutique in your town (read: the 80s section of Goodwill and...
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Open Post: Hosted By Netflix’s New Stupid Show “Floor Is Lava”
That’s it, folks. We did it! It seemed impossible, after the invention of a television show where people watch other people playing TAG! But well, there’s a new game show that straddles the edge of...
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Open Post: Hosted By Pickle-Flavored Doritos
As a Canadian, I was today years old when I realized that America is not only anti-bagged milk but has also been missing out on the taste sensation that is dill pickle-flavored Doritos. How! Well...
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Open Post: Hosted By DJ Khaled Dressed Up Like His Wife Just Asked Him For Oral
DJ Khaled left his house for the first time in months due to coronavirus, and he decided not to take any chances. While wearing a Naomi Campbell At The Airport costume, he showed up to the dentist...
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Open Post: Hosted By Britney Spears And Her Hot Boyfriend’s Beach Day...
Britney Spears and her hunky, hot piece of a boyfriend, Sam Asghari, went out for a joyful day at the beach. But before you get your pitchforks out and start looking at these two like they’re a couple...
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Open Post: Hosted By Britney Spears Wishing Her LGBTQ+ Fans A Happy Pride
Two Britney Spears Open Posts in a row? We’re so Lucky! Thank you, Brit Brit, for generously gifting us with the perfect pandemic-era Instagram account. It’s sexy, sad, hilarious, scary, confusing,...
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Open Post: Hosted By Erica The Robot, The First AI To Lead A Big-Budget...
Scarlett Johansson is probably scoffing at that title since she’s every race, every species, and every thing. The Hollywood Reporter says there’s a new big-budget sci-fi movie coming out, but this one...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Domino’s Wedding Registry
Clearly someone at Domino’s Pizza decided they had to come up with some kind of promotional thing involving coronavirus and then they threw a dart at a board and it landed on the word: “Wedding.”...
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Open Post: Hosted By Costco’s Devastating Decision To Stop Selling Half-Sheet...
As if COVID-19 hasn’t been enough of a bitch, now Costco is discontinuing the sale of their legendary half-sheet cakes in what many are speculating to be the massive wholesale chain’s attempt at...
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Open Post: Hosted By Ariana Grande’s “Midsommar” Themed Birthday Party
Oh, that Ariana Grande! Such a hip and totally down to earth girl living permanently on the absolute cutting edge. Seriously though, throwing birthday parties after the age of 21 is just stupid. And...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Florida Couple Holding Up Traffic On Their Scooters
Oh, Florida, the land of civilians attacking cars in the middle of the street, alligators in people’s pants, and sooooo much more fuckery. So it should shock nobody that an elderly couple casually...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For The Movie Of The Century!!!
Toward the end of 2019, the Earth was depleted of a major source of glamour, charisma, sparkle, and celestial insight when human estrella diamond Walter Mercado returned to his homeland of the galaxy....
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Open Post: Hosted By The Horrific Dummies Of “Glee”
E! News says a TikTok user by the name of Kelly Sipos found something disturbing as she watched Glee–and I mean something even more disturbing than the usual content of a standard episode of Glee. It...
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