Open Post: Hosted By The British Tortoise Who Set Its House On Fire On Christmas
This is what happens when you don’t get the family pet the subscription to Disney+ that it wanted for Christmas! Huffpost reported on this crabby-looking tortoise from Great Dunmow (a town about 45...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Zac Efron Letting Everyone Know He’s Alive And Well
We recently learned that this world almost became a Zac Efron-free place when some bacterial infection took the title of his new reality show Killing Zac Efron a little too literally and he had to be...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Zendaya Informing A Fan’s Mom That She’s Not On “13...
Being famous means that regular, non-famous people are bound to recognize you when you’re out in public. Sometimes they’ll get it right, other times they’ll recognize the face but will only be able to...
View ArticleHappy New Year From A Mad Ass Pope
2020 is brand new and there’s already a debate on whether or not it was okay for Pope Frances to slappity slap at the hand of a disciple who grabbed at him as though she was a Lush employee and he...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Post Malone’s Last Tattoo Of 2019
I’m pleased to report that Post Malone decided to end the year in the most Post Malone way possible. Which is to say that Post Malone located a few inches of un-inked skin on his face, and decided to...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Karlie Kloss Trying Very Hard Not To React To A Joke...
Last night’s episode of Project Runway proved two things. One, that a shady read about her in-laws is all it takes to freeze Karlie Kloss’ internal professionalism processor and cause a model reaction...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Luke Evans In A Speedo
Luke Evans, he of the revolving closet door and live-action Beauty and the Beast fame, strode out of the water in Miami yesterday looking fit. And without his nipple piercings! Maybe he got tired of...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Miranda Lambert’s Husband Brendan McLoughlin Cooking...
Tonight is the Golden Globes and Miranda Lambert, while not nominated for Best Song or anything, IS posting clips of her former NYPD cop husband Brendan McLoughlin with his tits out in the kitchen....
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By The Ferrari That Drove Into Lisa Vanderpump’s West...
HuffPo says that one of the WeHo restaurants of Lisa Vanderpump, formerly of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, was involved in a little accident. Okay a major one. And honestly… it’s sort of poetic....
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Brielle Biermann’s Lip Filler-Less Lips
When you’re a fame whore who’s famous for I don’t even know, you gotta keep the attention flowing. How do you do that? Well, you make the entire lip filler industry shake by announcing that you’re...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Emmy Rossum As One Of History’s Most Gorgeous Goddesses
“One of history’s most gorgeous goddesses is an unauthorized fly catching Holly Madison mannequin from Amazon called Sexy Blond Silly Rabbitmate Fly Catcher?” – you. But the tenth Muse (and the only...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Timothée Chalamet’s Struggle Goatee
Oh, you’re going to notice Timothée Chalamet alright! It’s positively unavoidable. Ever since he peach fucked his way onto the scene, all you ever hear these days is Timothée, Timothée, Timothée (and...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By The Case Of Ace Of Spades Champagne That Jay-Z And...
Remember how Beyonce and Jay-Z showed up late to the 2020 Golden Globes and stunted on the room like, “Yeah, and what? We interrupted Ellen; your point?” And they brought their own champagne Armand de...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By The Sleeping Beauty Proposal Vid
Boston is a city full of smarties. We’ve got all the smart schools, and smart hospitals and someone’s obviously got some brains in Boston’s sports industry because we do pretty well there (well, until...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina Candle
If Gwyneth Paltrow wasn’t such an insufferable snot, you could almost appreciate her trolling game (and I also appreciate it because it got The Rock to talk about his balls). Gwyneth knows that she’s...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Keanu Reeves Eating Ice Cream At Baskin-Robbins
Last week my friend told me Keanu Reeves was in town filming Matrix 4 and we made plans to go to have dinner in Alameda so we could lightly stalk him. We both got tired and never made it out of the...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By “The Bachelor” Delivering A Dignified Champagne Shot
I am that person who live-tweets The Bachelor on Monday nights along with my fellow middle-aged white women drunk on wine. As such, I saw this beautiful mess live. Last night, while Pilot Pete was...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Vanessa Hudgens In Feathers At The “Bad Boys For Life”...
Vanessa Hudgens showed up to the Hollywood premiere of Bad Boys for Life yesterday, which also happened to be the same day it was reported that she had split from her boyfriend of nine years, Austin...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By Glamour Personified As Jeff Bezos And Lauren Sanchez...
If you think being a billionaire is all glamour and glitz, then you’re goddamn right. With a billion dollars, almost anything is possible. Fancy cars, of course. Private jets, absolutely. The world’s...
View ArticleOpen Post: Hosted By The Long-Awaited Return Of Oreo ‘s The Most Stuf Cookie
Y’all begged for it and now they’re back. Oreo Most Stuf cookies are returned. Now your cookie-to-glucose-based-milk-product ratio will be off the charts! And you know what else? You could win...
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