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Open Post: Hosted By The Bassett Hound Who’s Embarrassed By Her Human’s Outfit
Woe is Millie Clooney. The one day her humans decided to trot her out in front of the paps is the one day Amal Clooney decides to dress up like a rejected That ’70s Show extra. Millie Clooney is...
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Open Post: Hosted By Tom Brady Eating Candy In Slow Motion
I live in a world (Boston) in which Tom Brady can do no wrong. Tom Brady could be mean to Betty White and he’d still remain beloved here in the Hub. Tom Brady had this hairstyle and his every word and...
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Open Post: Hosted By Lady Gaga Wearing Whatever That Is
For a second there, I thought “rockabilly trailer tramp with some Nashville sequins and a little gender mystery thrown in” was the designated look that Lady Gaga and her team slaved over for months to...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Talented Bitch Who Easily Upstaged Two Oscar Winners
On the left is Cate Blanchett who hasn’t yet let it sink in that a hot new talent has arrived on the scene and soon her career will be over. On the right is Sandra Bullock who has let it sink in that...
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Open Post: Hosted By Jessica Simpson Looking Like The 70s Caca’d On Her
Not to be outdone by the busted 70s ridiculousness that Amal Clooney wore the other day, Jessica Simpson started her Halloween celebrations early by stomping the streets of NYC yesterday while looking...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Drunk Chick Who Doesn’t Want To Die In A Freezer
Off the top of my head, there’s two answers to the question, “How in the hell do you end up folded up like a Choco Taco in a freezer bin?” Answer 1 is: You just did bareback butt sex with Russell...
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Open Post: Hosted By Kristen Stewart And St. Vincent Making Their Red Carpet...
That looks like a still out of a Harry Potter spin-off movie about the incestuous lesbian love affair between Draco Malfoy’s long-lost hipster sister and Bellatrix Lestrange’s long-lost hipster...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Dog Going Crazy For A Giant Version Of Her Favorite Toy
Jolene is a very lucky dog. She’s got the same name as a Dolly Parton song and she’s got a human who gave her the gift of dressing up like a giant version of her favorite toy. But then again, seeing a...
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Open Post: Hosted By Katy Perry As HRC And Orlando Bloom As Trump
Because everyone and their weekend drug dealer is going to probably do an election-themed costume for Halloween, Katy Perry and her naked paddleboard driver Orlando Bloom did themselves up in...
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Open Post: Hosted By Colton Haynes As A Slutty Miss Piggy
One of our new guest writers was supposed to help out today, but technical difficulties kept that from happening and so there weren’t as many posts as usual. Please accept my sowwies in the form of...
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Open Post: Hosted By Tamron Hall Delivering The Performance Of A Lifetime As...
Every year, the wrecks of Today do one big group costume and they usually go all out. Last year, they brought the night terrors by dressing up as The Peanuts and the scars I got on my brain from being...
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Open Post: Hosted By Coco As A Slutty Footlocker Employee
Don’t worry about that dude behind Coco. Coco’s minions always carry around a fainting couch because everywhere she goes, men, women, children, animals and a few inanimate objects pass out from being...
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Open Post: Hosted By The “Official” First Look At That Old-Timey Tale About...
Pictures of Disney’s live-action Beauty and the Beast movie leaked a little while ago, so we already know how derpy the CGI’d Beast looks, but today, Entertainment Weekly released the first official...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Tortoise Saying “Wow” While Getting His
Your someone at the dinner table tonight: So honey, how was your day? Did you do anything interesting? You: I watched a 55 second video of a tortoise saying, “Wow,” while fucking his piece. The next...
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Open Post: Hosted By Demi Moore, Who Seemed To Forget That Halloween Is Over
Last night was the Los Angeles premiere of Hedwig and the Angry Inch starring Darren Criss (all together: groooooan) and it brought out Demi Moore who was dressed like she accidentally stumbled onto...
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Open Post: Hosted By An Annoyed Dog Who Doesn’t Want To Share
Taiyo here doesn’t want to share his bones with his much-smaller compatriot. So he begins whining and sounds exactly like a creaking door in a haunted house. Animals are the best. My dog hates long...
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Open Post: Hosted By “The Hottest Math Teacher” Teaching Us The Right Way
Here’s a video of “The World’s Hottest Math Teacher,” Pietro Boselli, taking his shirt on and off as many times as he can, within one minute. I’m not sure what the educational value of this exercise...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Sloth Looking For Love
If you’re single and wondering what in the hell you need to do to get a man who would fight for you, lie for you, walk the wire for you and do everything else in that Bryan Adams song for you, then...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Woman Who Voted While In Labor
“Either take the goddamn motherfuckin’ picture or put a pillow under me to catch the baby that’s about to drop out” is probably what that Colorado woman is thinking. HuffPost, ABC 13 and the Daily...
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Open Post: Hosted By Goldie Hawn’s Fanny Pack
In these confusing and scary times, at least there’s one constant we can count on and that’s Goldie Hawn continuing to not give one tiny sliver of a fuck by visiting the construction site of her new...
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