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Open Post: Hosted By McDonald’s In Japan Serving Chocolate Pumpkin Fries
Ugh. It’s like that bougie ginge girl from all of the pumpkin spice memes has been brought to life by the power of our collective imagination and has infiltrated every corner of society! Either that...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Simon Cowell Toe That Viewers Thought Was A Dick
TV Mean Girl Simon Cowell was just sitting comfortably between fellow X Factor judges, Scary Spice and Baby Spice (fine, their slightly more real names are Mel B and Emma Bunton) while judging the...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Only Thing I Want For Christmas
Every year, my family asks me what I want for Jesus’ Born Day and every time, I say, “Oh, nothing, your unconditional love is enough, but if you insist,” before reaching into my pocket and pulling out...
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Open Post: Hosted By Cate Blanchett’s Giant Potato Chips Dress
In that picture, Cate Blanchett looks like she just saw a triple rainbow, or finally let out a stubborn doody bubble that was refusing to vacate her ass, or just learned that she saved 15% on her car...
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Open Post: Hosted By Salma Hayek Making An Artistic Commentary On Fashion...
That’s why she’s wearing that, right? And in this month’s episode of “Salma Hayek, You Are Married To A Billionaire, You Don’t Have To Do This Shit,” Salma Hayek showed up to the Stella McCartney show...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Muppets Parody Of “Fifty Shades Of Grey”
“And this is where I leave you, bitch,” said absolutely everyone to the internet after finding out that a Muppets parody of Fifty Shades of Shit exists. Some sick ho decided that what the over-used...
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Open Post: Hosted By Larry The Cable Guy Breaking A Dude’s Arm
If you no longer get grossed out from watching botfly maggot removal videos or that video of Donald Trump snifflin’, the sound of a dude’s arm doing the snap, crackle, pop may do it. Millionaire...
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Open Post: Hosted By Justin Bieber’s Clever Disguise
“Canada’s Least Wanted” Justin Bieber IS that come-to-life spymaster of our time. The irritating shithead took to the Amsterdam streets sporting Joanne the Scammer’s version of Kris Jenner’s Sunday...
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Open Post: Hosted By The “Power Rangers” Trailer
They didn’t even include “Mighty Morphin’“! This is respect-free! The trailer for Power Rangers has dropped, and my condolences if your childhood was killed in the blast. Everything’s very serious now...
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Open Post: Hosted By Justin Bieber’s Topless And Wet-Looking Wax Figure
It’s Canadian Thanksgiving today, so I’ve been on my own, because my weekday partner in foolery Allison is busy feasting on maple leaves-stuffed roasted moose before she goes to her nearest Church of...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Ruining Of “Dirty Dancing”
Since this has landed in my inbox and passed my eyes more than LinkedIn requests, here it is to obliterate your memory of Dirty Dancing too! That shitty TV series from 1988 didn’t totally ruin the...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Kitten In A Tube Sock Sweater
This picture is one of those things that I didn’t know I needed in my life until it was in my life. People pointed me toward tweets from Twitter user @crysomemore (aka Sarahfu) who tweeted pictures of...
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Open Post: Hosted By Alex Trebek Calling A Contestant A Loser
Alex Trebek is now facing the wrath of the nerds, which is going to be really awkward for him since only nerds go on Jeopardy! During the always weird “interview” part of Jeopardy! last night, a Lisa...
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Open Post: Hosted By Universal Treasure Tim Curry And The Cast Of The TV...
In case your brain tried to protect your soul by blocking out the memory of Fox’s remake of Rocky Horror Picture Show, let me remind you. Fox actually went through with taking that exquisitely perfect...
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Open Post: Hosted By Kristen Stewart Channeling Prince
Stalking expert Kristen Stewart showed up for the New York Film Festival premiere of Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Title Walk dressed like Prince. I applaud this look even though it makes my heart ache...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Great White Shark Busting Into A Diver’s Cage
I never wanted to take scuba diving lessons for two reasons. The first is my prediction that I would never be able to master that very necessary “breathe in through your mouth/out through your nose”...
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Open Post: Hosted By Beyonce Proving She’s An Android
During Beyonce’s performance at the TIDAL X: 1015 concert at Barclays in Brooklyn on Saturday night, her earring got caught on her clip-on rope braid and ripped out of her ear lobe. Now, if Beyonce...
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Open Post: Hosted By Hoda Kotb And Kathie Lee Gifford Acting Like They Care...
Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford have dream jobs, because they get to get morning drunk while blabbering out incoherent nonsense, which now that I think about it, is basically what I do. But sometimes...
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Open Post: Hosted By Guy Pearce Bringing The Thunder To Down Under
And yes, I mean that in more ways than one. Guy Pearce, his old Neighbours co-star Kylie Minogue, Julian McMahon and Radha Mitchell were all on the Gold Coast in Australia yesterday to shoot a hot...
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Open Post: Hosted By Justin Hartley’s Nipples For A Good Cause
I know Justin Hartley as the hot trust fund douche from the multiple award-winning, mega-hit soap opera Passions, but like one or two of you may know him as the hot tortured sitcom actor on the...
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