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Open Post: Hosted By Mariah Carey’s Version Of The 10-Year Challenge
Social media’s “I’m attention-starved and need gratification!” moment du jour is the 10-year challenge. It’s why your news feed is clogged with split-screen photos of people you went to high school...
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Open Post: Hosted By Madonna And Her New Look
I guess Madonna is done getting attention by terrorizing eulogies at major awards shows and has to come up with a new gimmick, so why not remind people of the Erotica years?! Madge has been a blonde...
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Open Post: Hosted By Keanu Reeves Talking About Wearing Dolly Parton’s...
Did he wear it when he married David Geffen? I KID. Sad Keanu Reeves, Hollywood stalwart and soft-spoken hug magnet, went on the The Talk and spoke about the time that he wore birthday goddess Dolly...
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Open Post: Hosted By Timothée Chalamet Rapping About Math As “Lil’ Timmy Tim”
He’s not THAT bad. Wouldn’t you rather listen to “Lil’ Timmy Tim” as opposed to Kanye? When Timothée Chalamet was a high school kid at some prestigious performing arts school in Manhattan (which was...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Return Of Carrie Bradshaw
We may have been spared from another terrible Sex And The City movie (thanks, Kim Cattrall!), but it seems like that isn’t going to keep Sarah Jessica Parker from being a grown-ass woman in a tutu who...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Kidz Bop Version Of “In My Feelings”
I am blessedly child-free so I only have to endure insipid children’s programming when I’m with my 5-year-old niece who inexplicably loves something called PJ Masks. I tried to get her to explain the...
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Open Post: Hosted By Gender Reveals Wreaking Havoc On Your Italian Feast
Everyone’s Nona is pouring a triple-sized glass of Chianti because gender-reveal parties are taking a disgraceful bite out of what she spends all weekend making for Sunday dinner. Gender-reveal...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Extinction Of Sweethearts This Valentine’s Day
I don’t think I’ve heard news this devastating since McDonald’s stopped making the McDLT back in the 80s, but it’s true. Sweethearts, the original text message of the candy world, will not be making a...
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Open Post: Hosted By Prada’s Plain White $410 T-Shirt
Brand whores rejoice! Think you can’t be a fashion icon AND have yellow pit stains and a coffee/soup melange up and down the front of your crisp white tee? Think again! You can walk around with a...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Booby-Trapped Meth House
It appears that some people don’t like to be disturbed when they’re doing methamphetamine. Drugs can lead to terrible things. Like booby-trapping your home (?) to kill people. Boing Boing brings us...
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Open Post: Hosted By Zac Efron’s Platinum Mop
Zac Efron unveiled a new look (monochromatic aging twink trying to serve you butch) while promoting Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil And Vile at Sundance. It’s about the White House, I kid, it’s...
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Open Post: Hosted By Lady Gaga And Bradley Cooper Performing”Shallow”...
Well it was bound to happen sooner or later. Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper are remaking A Star Is Born yet again, only this time Gaga is the grizzled old-timer and B. Coop is the ingénue. Over the...
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Open Post: Hosted By Jake Gyllenhaal Proving He Has No Patience For People...
I learned something new about myself this week. Thanks to Jake Gyllenhaal, I now know that pedantic, bitchy, dismissive Jake Gyllenhaal in sweater is exactly my kink. During a Sundance press...
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Open Post: Hosted By Andy King On Being Called The Blowjob King
Andy “Blowjob” King not only became the MVP (most valuable peen-sucker) of the Fyre Festival when he agreed to suck a Bahamian custom official’s dick for bottles of Evian to be cleared for the...
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Open Post: Hosted By Punxsutawney Phil Joining A Long Line Of Shitty Weather...
It was so cold in the Midwest this week that people died. No snark here, people friggin’ froze to death. Tragic shit that normally happens during doomed mountain climbing expeditions happened at rando...
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Open Post: Hosted By Mascot Batman Catching A Bat
Bats regularly attack basketball games? Did you know that? Just one more reason to avoid any sort of sportsball. Today is Puppy Bowl Sunday (and Super Bowl Sunday too, I guess), but this is a...
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Open Post: Hosted By Doggy Glitter Balls
Pictured: The FML face of a poodle who is thinking, “First these messes tease my hair until it looks like the engorged ballsack of a snowman and then they dip my own ballsack in glitter?” I don’t know...
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Open Post: Hosted By An Australian Zoo’s “Name A Snake After Your Ex”...
Why do I feel like the Wildlife Sydney Zoo is about to get a huge donation from Kim Kardashian…or Taylor Swift just so she can annoyingly “reclaim the narrative.” The Australian zoo just got a brown...
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Open Post: Hosted By Michael Bolton Possibly Falling Asleep During A TV...
The Blast is reporting that panty creamer of 40-plus women the world over, Michael Bolton, may have passed out, the way many do while listening to his soooothing ballads, during a live TV interview...
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Open Post: Hosted By Seth Meyers Getting Drunk With The Barefoot Contessa
If you don’t have your own distillery, dive bar-bought whiskey is fine…I guess? Since Martha Stewart has a leg up in the millennial department by latching herself to Snoop Dogg and implying she’s a...
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