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Open Post: Hosted By Elton John Taking Beads To The Face
No, not anal beads…unless Eminem threw them at him! Someone at an Elton John concert on Wednesday night didn’t get the memo that Mardi Gras, because someone hurled beads at his face. TMZ says Elton...
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Open Post: Hosted By What Happens When You Get “Fifty Shades Freed” Instead...
Everyone’s raving about Black Panther, which is breaking records at the box office, for being the first inclusive Marvel blockbuster and a damn good one at that. Ahem, I’m still waiting for the...
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Open Posted: Hosted By NBC Showing Gus Kenworthy Kissing His Boyfriend On...
Well, well, well. How quickly things can change. Olympic skier and PyeongChang’s most scrumptious morsel Gus Kenworthy (Spandexed dream Chris Mazdzer is straight and I don’t want to talk about it)...
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Open Post: Hosted By Burglar Buffoonery
This video is a few days old, but it’s never too late to learn that if you’re going to pull the illegal act of robbing a warehouse and plan to break into that bitch by throwing a brick at the window,...
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Open Post: Hosted By THE QUEEN Of England And The Queen Of Death Eaters At A...
As all of England riots in the streets over KFCs being out of chicken (Joke’s on those people, because KFC has always been out of chicken since the shit they serve is deep fried chicken-flavored...
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Open Post: Hosted By One Way To Dry Your Chonies On A Flight
So, so many questions here: Why did her panties need drying? Did she pee herself after figuring that it’s easier just to piss in her chonies and dry them on the vent above her seat instead of taking...
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Open Post: Hosted By Something To Melt Your Ice Cold Corroded Heart
DISCLAIMER: If you’re proud that you’ve got an unmeltable frostbitten heart made of hardened tar, don’t watch this video or you may be really disappointed with yourself for feeling actual feelings....
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Open Post: Hosted By Janelle Monae Grinding On Tessa Thompson
Janelle Monae has a new album, Dirty Computer (aka the first words that a Genius Bar tech says after opening my laptop and seeing what I’ve got saved on my desktop), coming out in April, and yesterday...
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Open Post: Hosted By KFC’s “FCK” Bucket
Heh. That’s funny. Ugh, it’s sort of a guilty feeling when a brand makes you chuckle with their marketing, huh? To stop finding it funny, just visualize that urban legend about KFC’s “chicken”...
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Open Post: Hosted By Kirstie Alley’s Favorite Olympic Team Celebrating...
“Fat Actress” and self-blinded Scientologist Kirstie Alley recently discovered that the US Olympic curling team are the wrong curlers with which to fuck. (The Shelly Long pic slays.) To celebrate...
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Open Post: Co-Hosted By The Best Dressed Bitch In The Philippines, And The...
If you’re searching for true undying love, then there’s only one question that you need to ask a prospective piece at the start of every date. That question is: When it rains, will you dress me in a...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Speed Cam Destroyer Of DC
If you’ve ever been caught by the snitch bitch known as the speed camera, then get down on your knees and worship at the vigilante feet of your new God. DC Metropolitan Police have released footage...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Quokka Getting A Face Massage From Humans At A Pub
Up until 4 minutes ago when I was looking for a cute animal video to counter the grossness here today (see: Ryan Seacrest’s existence and Kevin Smith’s dick, which strangely enough probably looks like...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Jason Voorhees Statue That’s At The Bottom Of A Lake
You horror whores should know that at the end of Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI, a grown-up Tommy lures Jason out to Crystal Lake and ties a boulder to his neck, which eventually sends him to...
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Open Post: Hosted By Jane Fonda, Diane Keaton, And Candice Bergen Reading...
Finally, Hollywood has given us what we’ve all been waiting for: a movie about rich white ladies reading Fifty Shades of Grey. If only Smell-O-Vision existed for real, movie theaters would be filled...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Belly-Floppin’ Trampoline Scottish Snow Dad
Huffpost put this under their “Weird News” banner but they should really start a “Fun Dads” category. Glasgow, Scotland’s Patrick Keenan noted that there was a big cake of snow on top of his...
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Oscars Open Post: Hosted By Frances McDormand In Pajamas And Slippers
Like she has this entire awards season, Frances McDormand won another Best Actress doorstop last night at the Independent Spirit Awards for playing a fuck-free vengeful mom in the word problematic’s...
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Open Post: Hosted By Rita Moreno Ruling The Red Carpet In Her 1962 Oscars Gown
Besides Adam Rippon working Tom of TwinkVille glamour, and St. Vincent looking like Rooney Mara working a double as a cocktail waitress at Batman: The Resort and Casino in Reno, the Oscars red carpet...
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Open Post: Hosted By Jennifer Garner Joking About Her Shocked-Face Oscar Moment
On Sunday night, Jennifer Garner joined the ranks of past Oscar ceremony viral audience moment makers like Nicole Kidman, Steve McQueen, Denzel Washington, and Meryl Streep. Nobody knew what the hell...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Shameless Rat Stealing Money
“Lindsay Lohan looks so fresh and gorgeous there” said all of you after seeing that screen shot of the thieving rat. Meet Solstice, a pet rat from North Conway, New Hampshire who has tasted the sweet...
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