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Open Post: Hosted By Taco Bell’s Naked Egg Taco
Things don’t bode well for your food grosstrosity if even the title makes you want to boot into the nearest trash can. Taco Bell is known as the purveyor of such fine and healthful dishes as the...
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Open Post: Hosted By Judge Judy And The Case Of Good Boy Baby Boy
Everybody knows that dogs are shady as fuck. My dog Professor Owen (RIP) used to pull some real cold-blooded shit on me. He had selective hearing and would ghost me at the dog park all the time. He...
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Open Post: Hosted By Madonna Forgetting The Lyrics To Her Own Song
Madonna turned 59 yesterday and she celebrated by posting a feisty video of herself and her wobbly boobies singing “B-Day Song” off her MDNA album. She forgot the lyrics, though. There is an...
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Open Post: Hosted By Miley Cyrus’ New Video
There’s a lot to like about Miley Cyrus‘ video for “Younger Now.” I made a list: – There’s a puppet. – She hangs out with what looks like an elderly, gender-fluid biker gang. – She’s not naked on a...
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Open Post: Hosted By Bing’s Sand Penis
Bing usually has a big, beautiful photo as the background for their search engine. They recently used one of a tropical setting, and something fun was drawn in the sand on the beach. A big penis! I...
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Open Post: Hosted By Derek Hough Doing Some Topless Shopping
This makes me support the “Free the Nipple” movement now more than ever. Why can’t the ladies engage in this sort of vain tomfoolery? Here’s Dancing with the Stars’ hot stepper Derek Hough out...
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Open Post: Hosted By Britney Spears’ Live Vocals
Britney’s back, bitches! Much like an allusive Bigfoot, Nessie or Jersey Devil sighting, Britney Spears has once again been caught on film in the wild, SINGING LIVE, which is something that has only...
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Open Post: Hosted By Sarah Jessica Parker Geeking Out Over The Eclipse
Yesterday while everybody in my TL was having eclipse fever, I was busy debating whether or not to take out the kitchen garbage, which was barely full but stinky. There was no eclipse here in...
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Open Post: Hosted By Nicki Minaj And Blac China Racing In Slutty Judy Jetson...
Fresh off Blac Chyna trying to steal Rob Kardashian’s leased Range Rover, MTV shows us Yo Gotti and Nicki Minaj are here to turn it all into fancy, shmancy art in the “Rake It Up” video. At least...
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Open Post: Hosted By Queen Lazy Bottoms The Cat
I have had cats my entire life. In fact, my mom told me that my first word was “kitty” but my dumb baby mouth made it sound like “key.” It’s the cutest story you’ll ever hear about me. You never know...
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Open Post: Hosted By Emma Stone Serving ’80s Sex On A High-Waisted Platter
From the gold of OSCAR to the gold acrylic of a good Party City wig, Emma Stone really leaves no stone (hehe!) unturned. The Daily Mail spotted Emma Thursday on the set of Maniac, her upcoming Netflix...
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Open Post: Hosted By Miley Cyrus Looking Phantasmical On David LaChapelle’s...
Potential raunchy VMA’s puppeteer, Miley Cyrus, is on the cover of superstar photographer David LaChapelle’s new photography book, Lost + Found. It looks like Miley was like, “Hey, Dave, remember back...
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Open Post: Brought To You By Colton Haynes’ Bare Ass On Instagram
Instagram pin-up boy and TV star Colton Haynes is on vacation in Turks and Caicos with his fiancé, celebrity floral designer Jeff Leatham. Because something didn’t happen unless it’s posted about,...
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Open Post: Hosted By Joe Jonas’s VMA Pornstache
I moustache you ask a question: why the hell is everyone rocking a flavor saver these days? Over the last year, the official lewk of everyone in my local gay watering hole went from hairless ferret to...
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Open Post: Hosted By Lady Gaga’s Donnie Darko Of A Watch Ad
Lady Gaga has been spooking her Little Monsters as of late by kind of dressing like a typical Millennial: sometimes grunge, sometimes over it, and occasionally gussied up to make the Greek Chorus...
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Open Post: Hosted By Snoop, Martha, And A Chocolate Cake
And they said it wouldn’t last! The love affair between Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart is showing no sign of stopping. The unlikely duo first met when felon and lifestyle maven Martha Stewart had...
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Open Post: Hosted By Mariah Carey’s Closet Of Magic
Fact: the greatest piece of television history is Mariah Carey’s episode of Cribs (mostly for the literal cat fight with her poor pussy who spends most of the episode swapping “Can you believe this...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Maybe/Maybe-Not Fishy Bumper Sticker
I’ve always had a thing for bumper stickers. Whether it’s a faded-as-fuck “Dole/Kemp ‘96″ slapped ironically on the back of a Subaru, or just that kinda crude/kinda funny one of Calvin taking a piss...
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Open Post: Hosted By Britney Spears Reacting To A Drunk Fan
Can I just type that it’s nice to see Britney Spears acting so ordinary and with it and just aware of life? Her demeanor for the past decade has been sort of “vaguely medicated and really just wants...
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Open Post: Hosted By Jared Leto Performing While Wearing That
The news that Warner Bros. wants Leonardo DiCaprio to replace him as the Joker must have hit Jared Leto pretty hard. Because he took to the stage yesterday at a Berlin gig wearing an ensemble that is...
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