When I read that Mariah Carey, Ariana Grande, and Jennifer Hudson did a Christmas song together for Mariah’s AppleTV+ Christmas special, Mariah Carey’s Magical Christmas Special, I thought to myself, “We better prepare.” Because the sound of those three women hitting their high-notes, runs and shouts at the same time? It would shake the planet loose from our orbit around the sun! Luckily such a catastrophe was avoided because they chose to keep the whistle notes and “Hey-eeyay-eeyay-yay-yay-eeyaAYAY-YAY-YAYYYYYYYYYYYs” to a minimum.
Mariah’s special premiered today and everyone who subscribed to AppleTV+ will be able to enjoy her holiday whimsy and glamour, dahling. The rest of you? Coal right up the ass–sorry, I don’t make the Christmastime laws. Back in 2010, Mariah released the Christmas song, Oh Santa!. Ten years later, and Mimi decided to give us an update featuring Jennifer Hudson and Ariana Grande (who she knows now, I guess) as her background singers. They’re all done up in festive attire, with Mimi’s jingle balls out and ready to play, and are surrounded by elves who dance around them in the Christmas factory and it ends with Mimi and Ariana causing garage doors everywhere to open (and gays everywhere to burst) by harmonizing their whistle tones:
Of course, Mariah has the sexiest outfit, which she definitely had to fight Ariana over. And I haven’t seen the special and don’t have AppleTV so I probably won’t until it’s somewhere else, but I imagine as a Mean Girls superfan Mariah will be doing The Plastic’s Jingle Bell Rock routine as well. Otherwise, how would she even sleep at night?!
Pic: YouTube