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Open Post: Hosted By The Heist Of The 3-Foot Dildo Named “Moby Dick”
The dick heist of the century got pulled off recently in Las Vegas and sadly it had nothing to do with the Chippendales dancers. A man has been accused (AKA: caught on camera) of picking up and...
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Open Post: Hosted By KFC’s 3D Printed Chicken Nuggets
KFC has decided the future is 3D-printed chicken. Soon you may be able to ingest a chicken-ish version of chicken which has been 3D printed because I guess there are no more chickens alive on the...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Canadian CDC Endorsing “Glory Holes” As A Way To...
The Canadian government is reportedly afraid of a spike in coronavirus cases and so they want to make sure the people are being safe. And at the same time, they know people are horny hos. Canada has a...
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Open Post: Hosted By Kacey Musgraves Maybe Playing Vanessa In Disney’s...
It’s time for another casting update regarding Disney’s live-action adaptation of The Little Mermaid, a film that feels like it’s been in the works basically since Ariel was nothing but a cluster of...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Raccoon Taking A Leisurely Dip In A Swimming Pool
I don’t know why I assumed that raccoons can’t / don’t swim, so imagine my surprise when I came across this clip of a giant backyard bandit FULLY taking a dip in a Toronto backyard pool. For those who...
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Open Post: Hosted By Superman’s Black Suit In The “Snyder Cut” Of “Justice...
Zack Snyder had to step back from the Justice League movie after the tragic death of his daughter. The film was taken over by Joss Whedon and what ended up getting released was panned by pretty much...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Rock As Willy Wonka
Screenrant says that Tim Burton‘s 2005 remake of Charlie & The Chocolate Factory could have been a very different movie. While the role of Willy Wonka was disturbingly played by Johnny Depp in...
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Open Post: Hosted By Demi Lovato’s Expensive Ass Engagement Ring
Earlier this week, Demi Lovato got engaged to actor/singer/pretty boy LA-type Max Ehrich after just five months of dating (but keep in mind it was quarantine months, which, when converted into regular...
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Open Post: Hosted By The 14 Proposals Martha Stewart Received After Posting...
Last week, H.B.I.C. Martha Stewart posted a sultry aquatic thirst trap, attracting mucho online attention, failed copycats, and, apparently, over a dozen declarations of love sent via Instagram...
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Open Post: Hosted By Jason Momoa’s Wet Nipple Knobs
Prolific Open Post Host and Panty Creamer Hall of Famer, Jason Momoa, is back to put his fur-covered chichis on display for his millions upon millions of followers. And if your genitals don’t get...
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Open Post: Hosted By Toni Braxton’s Vibrator-Based Beauty Routine
If you’re one of those people who like to watch videos of celebrities revealing all of their beauty secrets and tips, then chances are you’ve already stumbled upon the one where Toni Braxton takes a...
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Open Post: Hosted By Uncle Roger Roasting A Cooking Video About Egg Fried Rice
I mean, if you are the kind of person who makes food at home rather than ordering it in, you’re already more ambitious (and, frankly, more of a snob) than my lazy ass, so congratulations. But as this...
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Open Post: Hosted By This Influencer’s Bonkers Job Listing For A 24/7...
An anonymous “celebrity” YouTube influencer with 10+ million followers has posted a crazy job listing to find a “part-time” personal assistant. This assistant is expected to be on call 24/7, and “on...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Sinking Log Of Splash Mountain
Insanity struck at Florida’s recently re-opened Disney World this week. All the tiny coronaviruses scattered throughout the park rat-kinged their way together to form one giant COVID-mega-cloud! The...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Tourist Who Broke An Ancient Sculpture’s Toes And...
Some dumbass tourist managed to mess shit up in a museum in Italy, which makes me think that Italy should’ve never opened up their museums again after their coronavirus numbers dropped. Because...
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Open Post: Hosted By Auntie Anne’s Pretzel-Ordering Recliner
The true Anne with an E (sorry, Anne of Green Gables and Anne Hathaway), Auntie Anne’s, knows that many of us Americans have the humans from WALL-E on our vision boards because we can’t wait to be...
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Open Post: Hosted By The 23-Year-Old YouTubers Who Posted Their Reaction To...
Young people. They’re different than us. They’d rather make one of their “Tick-Tocks”, than suck on a Werther’s Original during a lively game of bingo. Tsk tsk! They also have a completely different...
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Open Post: Hosted By The UK’s Top (Retired) Diplomatic Pussy
pparently, the UK Foreign Office has a cat on staff –– or, I should say, “had” a cat on staff. Because the cat in question, a black and white tabby named Palmerston, has decided to say peace out from...
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Open Post: Hosted By The Booze Windows Of Tuscany
As you know, Italy was hit hard by COVID-19 this summer. But fortunately, things seem to be slowly getting back to normal. And the proof is in the wine windows reopening throughout the north of the...
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Open Post: Hosted By A Very Pregnant Katy Perry Doing The “Push The Feeling...
Every summer needs a viral dance challenge. But because summer 2020 is still all about COVID-19, I would have thought the breakout dance challenge would be a bunch of teens socially distance-dancing...
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