Yes, read that headline again. If you’re high, read it a third time. This is the type of fuckery that takes place down in Port St. Lucie, FL where 23-year-old Andrew Anthony Gallagher decided that paying with cash is so 2018. He’s looking ahead to the new shit for 2019 and it involves using a different kind of green as currency; marijuana.
NBC News reports that Andrew, bless his stoned little heart, ordered his meal then drove up to the window. When he was asked to pay for his order, he handed the cashier a bag of weed. The cashier refused and Andrew drove off without paying for his order, probably because he felt insulted. Because if you offer someone some of your stash and they refuse, fuck ’em! And this is where the story should end, with Andrew chomping on a bag full of Dollar Menu items in between tokes. Unfortunately it takes a hard left at Stupidity Junction because Andrew ended up going back to the same McDonald’s for whatever reason (SPOILER ALERT: he was high). And when he got there, the cops were waiting for him because the cashier called them after he bailed the first time.
Police were alerted to Gallagher’s offer early Sunday morning and got a description of him from the worker. They say a suspect matching his description went through the drive-thru a little while later and police approached him.
The cops searched Andrew and found 11 grams of weed on him before he was promptly whisked away for his photo shoot at the jailhouse. When asked why he tried to pay for his food with marijuana Andrew said that he was just joking. Honestly, the only real joke here is that the cops even gave a shit about this. There really must not be too much going on in Port St. Lucie if they’re harassing a local stoner for a little bit of weed. It must be the Mayberry of Florida. And bravo if you get that reference, because that means you’re an old fart just like me.
Pic: Port St. Lucie PD