Open Post: Hosted By The Leftovers’ Dick-Teasing Emmy Campaign 

One of my favorite awards show campaign of all-time is Melissa Leo’s self-funded one. But this one from The Leftovers comes close to taking Melissa’s down and only because it features my favorite thing before pork rinds: DICK!

Even before The Leftovers started airing on HBO in 2014, Justin Theroux’s flopping down-low parts became the breakout star of the show. Paparazzi pics came out of Justin shooting a scene for the first season of The Leftovers while looking like his gray sweatpants were hosting a wrestling match between a weasel and two obese hamsters. So since Justin Theroux’s gray sweatpants (and his man parts in those sweats) have become stars of The Leftovers, the show’s co-creator Damon Lindelof is promising that the sweats will come down if they get some Emmy nominations.

The Emmys online balloting closed last night, and before it did, Damon made one last push for The Leftovers by pimping out Justin Theroux’s peen for votes. Damon promised that if The Leftovers gets nominated, Justin will Theroux off his sweatpants (sorry for that) and will show you what Jennifer Aniston gets to slather Aveeno lube on.

Damon started off by threatening everyone with a good time if Justin Theroux gets a nomination:

A post shared by Damon (@damonlindelof) on Jun 26, 2017 at 3:50pm PDT

And then he went wild and promised that the sweatpants will come off if Carrie Coon, Amy Brenneman, Kevin Carroll, Mimi Leder, Ann Dowd and Christopher Eccleston get nominated.

A post shared by Damon (@damonlindelof) on Jun 26, 2017 at 4:05pm PDT

A post shared by Damon (@damonlindelof) on Jun 26, 2017 at 4:11pm PDT

Okay… maybe I'm not TOTALLY done.

A post shared by Damon (@damonlindelof) on Jun 26, 2017 at 5:43pm PDT

A post shared by Damon (@damonlindelof) on Jun 26, 2017 at 4:18pm PDT

I apologize for flooding y'all's feeds, but recognition needs to be given to these fantastic artists. I'm done now. #FYC2017

A post shared by Damon (@damonlindelof) on Jun 26, 2017 at 4:24pm PDT

This was the line as originally scripted. Eccleston changed on the set because he's a genius worthy of an Emmy nod. #TrueStory #ButISitTrue #KevinBelievesIt #WhyWouldntHe

A post shared by Damon (@damonlindelof) on Jun 26, 2017 at 5:51pm PDT

Damon didn’t follow-up with important details, like does just one of them need to be nominated or all of them? I’m going to tell myself that Justin will take off those sweats if The Leftovers gets at least one Emmy nomination for anything. They should get at least one. The nominations come out the morning of July 13, so I’m going to make an appointment to see my doctor that afternoon. Because I’m expecting to go in for a busted eyeball after one of Justin Theroux’s wrecking ball nuts hits me in the face when his takes off his sweatpants in a celebratory video.

But seriously, Justin Theroux once said that he wore 2 pairs of undies under his sweats, so yeah if The Leftovers get nominated, we’ll probably just get a picture of him wearing 2 pairs undies. I’m going to make a doctor’s appointment anyway, because my tonsils will need to be looked at after I curse Lindelof’s name louder than I did after the Lost finale.

Pic: HBO