Channing Tatum recently opened the official Magic Mike male stripper show in Las Vegas, and he’s been doing the press rounds for it. E! News showed him a bunch of pics of other male celebrities and asked him to come up with stripper aliases for them on the spot. Channing dialed his mind from: “did I really sign up to star in a gender-swapped reboot of Splash?” to: “play cutesy with the press” and gave it the old college try.
Here are some of Channing’s suggestions followed by mine:
Zac Efron
Channing: “Rusty Sparkplug”
Me: “Bronzer Buttplug”
George Clooney
Channing Tatum: “Debonair Dogleg”
Me: Forget the game for a mo and let’s wonder why Channing is mentioning Clooney’s dogleg. Does he know something about what George is packing that we don’t? Hmmmm.
Jonah Hill
Channing: “The Unicorn”
Me: Can I use “buttplug” again?
Harry Styles
Channing: “The English Muffin”
Me: “Jailbait Joey”
Justin Bieber
Channing: “The Tattooed Kid” (but, judging by his expression, he totally wanted to go with “Irritating Shithead”
Me: “Irritating Shithead”
Leonardo DiCaprio
Channing: “The Deep Experience”
Me: Bitch, please! (Unless he was being shady, then sure.)
Chris Pratt
Channing: “Pratt”
Me: “Secret MAGA”
Watch Channing Tatum objectifying his fellow himbos below.
Pic: Instagram