When someone passes, we tend to wipe clean most of their sins and infractions. Yeah, they didn’t pay you back that $100 but they’re dead and you’re not, so it’s a wash. But for the particularly vengeful, death is not enough. Sometimes you gotta drag the deceased! Florida man (insert shocked Pikachu face) Lawrence Pfaff Jr. thought the concept of “rest in peace” was too good for his dad and crafted an obit fit for the devil!
According to Lawrence Jr., Lawrence Pfaff Sr. was a pretty awful guy whose death “proves that evil does eventually die.” Tell us what you really think! via NBC News:
Writing the obituary was a process of healing from his childhood trauma, his son, Lawrence Pfaff Jr., told NBC News.
He described his father in the obituary as “a ladies’ man” and an “abusive alcoholic,” “solidifying his commitment to both with the path of destruction he left behind, damaging his adult children, and leaving them broken.”
This reads like one of those exercises a therapist gives you, except rather than writing his grievances and dramatically throwing it into a fire, Lawrence published it in The Florida Times-Union. And Lawrence Jr. may not have been the only kid Lawrence Sr. scarred.
Pfaff Sr. is survived by five children, but, according to the obituary, could have fathered more.
“His love was abundant when it came to himself, but for his children it was limited,” the piece said. “It will be challenging to miss Lawrence, Sr. because he was narcissistic. He was incapable of love.”
“Lawrence, Sr. can be remembered for being a father to many, and a dad to none,” the obituary concluded.
Here’s the full obit:
Yeah this is the most scathing obituary i've ever read
"Lawrence Sr.'s passing proves that evil does eventually die, and it marks a time of healing, which will allow his children to get the closure they deserve." https://t.co/aL3ZKzm90B pic.twitter.com/okvgHa8DRA
— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) July 6, 2022
Most of us can only dream of having such a beautiful command of the English language! Lawrence stated that he began writing the obit about a year before his father’s death. Hopefully, its publication closes some of his wounds. So, the lesson here is twofold: be a kind person and don’t cross Lawrence because the quality of his burns may result in instant death!
Pic: YouTube/NBC News