If you’ve ever been to a cookout this summer and wondered why there wasn’t enough hot dog flavor in your hard seltzer, your name is probably Fred Durst. But who has time for basic bitch flavors like strawberry or mango when you can enjoy sips of salty processed meat traveling down your esophagus instead? Sounds like dreams in a glass to me. And in an attempt to make this dream come true, a brewery in Forth Worth, TX called Martin House Brewing Co. has decided that everyone deserves the taste of questionably forged meat in their adult beverages. In their infinite wisdom, they have taken one of the world’s least favorite things, hot dog water, and created a drink experience that will either be revered or regurgitated.
In an interview with The Dallas Morning News marketing director Shugg Cole revealed their brewery’s intention to cause mass-induced vomiting at cookouts everywhere with this horrible idea for an adult beverage. Because hot dogs have a very distinctive taste and belong on a bun, not in a bottle. Still, since they’ve always prided themselves on coming up with innovative flavors that sound more like the creations of stoned college students on a Saturday night their new seltzer, Bun Length, is sure to draw some reactions. Martin House will be unleashing this holy hell into the world during their Glizzy Fest on July 17 and I’m sure they kept the alcohol content high with this creation because that’s probably the only way anyone will drink this mess.
Martin House added hard seltzer to its roster just a few weeks ago, and Bun Length will be its first specialty seltzer. Over the years, Cole said the brewery has joked about finding a way to incorporate hot dogs. Seltzer seemed like the perfect, if unusual, vehicle.
Bun Length, with a 5.2% alcohol content, is brewed with the leftover water from 52 pounds of boiled frankfurters.
It should taste just like it sounds, Cole said, like a boozy hot dog.
Apparently, Martin House loves the idea of drinkable dinner items because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. Delish reports they recently introduced a beer that tastes like barbecue sauce, which sounds even more disgusting than the damn hot dog seltzer.
Another new brew from Martin House is Murph Juice, a barbecue sauce-flavored beer. Described as a “BBQ Beer with Spices,” the brew currently has a 3.26 rating on Untappd and has been met with plenty of mixed reviews. One user wrote that Murph Juice “Tastes like it should,” while another user declared that it “Smells like bbq beans” and “Tastes like the pickle bar.”
I really hope Bun Length isn’t something they try to take nationwide because nobody wants to drink a hot dog. If that was the case we would just drink them in their original liquid form. And if that isn’t enough to make you pass on this idea I don’t know what else will.
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