However drunk and/or stoned you may have been on the Fourth of July, you probably weren’t drunk and/or stoned enough for Matthew McConaughey’s message to America. We’ve heard that Matthew McConaughey is toying with the idea of running for Governor of Texas, and over the weekend, he decided to get a little practice in by giving some kind of address to the nation while looking like a 70s porn producer turned cult leader. And Matthew’s message on America’s birthday induced eye rolls from sea to shining sea.
HuffPo says that Mathew decided it was time to bless America with a birthday shout-out on Twitter, and talked about how this country is just a little preteen boy who tells his parents he hates them after they find his stash:
“Happy birthday, America!” he began. “Let’s admit that this last year’s trip around the sun was also another head-scratcher. Let’s also remember that we are babies. As a country, we are basically going through puberty in comparison to other countries’ timelines.”
McConaughey said the nation is going through growing pains, and he urged Americans to keep learning, striving and climbing.
“We gotta make sure we maintain hope along the way as we continue to evolve,” he said. “Why? Because it’s who we are. Why? Because the alternative sucks.”
Here’s Matthew’s full message in all its glory:
happy 245th birthday America – lets rock pic.twitter.com/MiLKZ0HN8y
— Matthew McConaughey (@McConaughey) July 4, 2021
And of course, his Twitter constituents quickly ran to the polls to voice their opinions and the results are in: they want Matthew McConaughey to STFU!
Matthew McConaughey Says America “Going Through Puberty”…
Excuse me. Who is going through puberty? Some day you'll go through it too.
Stick to what you do best. Acting. pic.twitter.com/8KzbV8P0wa
— .Funkytown
8.0 (@Funky8_0) July 6, 2021
8.0 (@Funky8_0) I’m so happy my murdered and stolen indigenous ancestors could play a role in a colonizing nation’s “growing pains”
— Fabi A (@NoyoloRebelde) July 4, 2021
Well, if Matthew’s political dreams don’t pan out, he can always become a creepy televangelist since he’s already got the glasses for it!
Pic: Twitter