The real estate scene right now is insanely inflated and a real seller’s market, so it’s not a surprise that Colorado Springs, Colorado Realtor, Mimi Foster, has received hundreds of rabid queries for what she is calling the House from Hell. And why not? Most of our college dorms and campus frat houses looked exactly like this and probably emitted equally gross aromas of decaying creatures (drunk, vomit-soaked frat boys fermenting under the front steps).
With that sensory assault fresh in our minds (I’m sorry), let’s take a house tour and see what all the prospective buyers can’t wait to fix up and post on Instagram for those coveted before-and-after likes.
via HuffPo:
You’d think a realtor trying to sell a home for $590,000 that she describes as a “little slice of hell” would have a devil of a time.
But realtor Mimi Foster said that a dilapidated five-bedroom, four-bathroom Colorado Springs home adorned in spray-painted sayings like “suck my ass” and feces stuffed in drawers is a pretty hot commodity.
Foster told local news channel Denver 7 she has received “16 written cash offers in the first 24 hours of the house being on the market.”
“I list vacant houses all the time. I have not seen this kind of hysteria, even in this market,” she explained to the ABC affiliate. “I’ve gotten about 89 text messages since we’ve gotten to the house this afternoon.”
Here is Mimi to run us through the graffiti-covered, meat-scented mess left by the last renter. Anyone triggered by the sight of bugs should nope out at the opening of the refrigerator door. Trust me on this.
At least we don’t have scratch-and-sniff cards for the full olfactory hell that Mimi took for the team. HuffPo continues:
In Foster’s listing for the literal house of horrors posted to Redfin, the realtor was brutally honest in her descriptions of the home, which she says “is not for the faint of heart.”
“As you enter, there are soaring ceilings and an open floor plan with a second-floor overlook,” Foster wrote in the listing. “You will also notice there is not one surface of the home that has not been enhanced with black spray paint or a swinging hammer.”
She added: “But don’t let that slow you down. It’s not nearly as daunting as the freezer in the basement that’s full of meat and hasn’t had electricity … for over a year. So be sure to wear your mask.” She notes that there’s a back patio, but “don’t go out there as the deck is not necessarily attached to the house in the manner you might hope.” She also admits that the home is located “in the pink of a geological landslide area.”
Oh, and there were also poop-stuffed drawers in the basement and both human and animal excrement in the living room to greet visitors as the pièce de résistance of this mess. This house needs Tom Cruise‘s panic button!
Mimi is the real estate agent we all need in this day and age! She tells it like it is and is willing to disclose everything, no matter how long we have to get treated for PTSD afterward. I can’t wait to see who ends up buying this spite-soaked wreck, and find out how much they paid someone with a raging case of anosmia to haul away the meat freezer.
Pic: YouTube/Denver7