Clearly, Amazon’s warehouse employees are so overworked and stressed out that they needed a claustrophobic little booth in which to do anything but relieve their bladders. And today, we are all treated to the tone-deaf, allegedly stress-busting offering of Amazon (non-warehouse) employee, Leila Brown. Leila calls her invention “AmaZen,” but for some bizarre and totally mysterious reason, the public was not quite buying it and Amazon promptly deleted their original, introductory tweet. Never underestimate the lightning-fast reflexes of Twitter users, because it was lovingly saved for more future side-eyes and outbursts of WTAF:
Here is the deleted tweet:
The « AmaZen » mindful room video has been deleted. But I recorded it because it’s awesome. pic.twitter.com/hYRNR8S1dX
— Daniel Zamora Vargas (@DanielZamoraV) May 28, 2021
It doesn’t take too many IQ points to see what’s wrong with this ill-conceived mess. According to Vice:
In one of its most dystopian moves yet, Amazon is introducing tiny booths where its overworked warehouse employees can momentarily escape a job so grueling, many employees say they don’t feel like they have enough time to even use the bathroom.
The “ZenBooth” or “Mindful Practice Room,” as it’s called, is part of the WorkingWell program Amazon announced on May 17. According to an Amazon press release, WorkingWell is a mix of “physical and mental activities, wellness exercises, and healthy eating support” meant to “help them recharge and reenergize.” One of the WorkingWell initiatives is AmaZen, which “guides employees through mindfulness practices in individual interactive kiosks at buildings,” according to a press release.
And for some quick context on the issue:
While we eagerly await how they’ll plot out the new spin on the Happiness Crypt From Hell instead of working towards allowing unions, increasing the minimum wage, and improving working conditions, let’s feast our eyes upon the aptest response Twitter has to offer:
So I was noticing a certain resemblance to Amazon's wellness booth to this other booth??? pic.twitter.com/xe2j44gt9j
— Ken Ketchum (@ken_ketchum) May 29, 2021
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one picturing spontaneous meltdown hookups with splatters of ragey jizz-bombs Jackson Pollack-ing the walls, in addition to sloshy puddles of pee the employees don’t seem to be able to deposit anywhere else. All this while masked in a suffocating space and tapping icons on a screen to remind them how to breathe properly while faced with dragging seventeen 60-packs of toilet paper off of a shelf 624 feet from the case of Doritos going into the same order.
Pic: YouTube