Everyone says that the reboot is usually shittier than the original and that’s the case with this story. Because this redo of Never Been Kissed is awful! A 28-year-old grown woman decided it would be a great idea to pose as an underage high school student in order to promote her Instagram account. I think we finally found an action to gain clout which is somehow more stupid and reckless than licking a toilet.
If you’re wondering where this happened, then I’m going to have to call you out for not just immediately assuming it was Florida. And yes, it was indeed Florida. People says that Audrey Nicole Francisquini now faces charges of burglary, educational institution interference, and resisting an officer. Not clear what she stole other than her own dignity, but hey. According to NBC News, the police report claims that Audrey snuck onto the campus of the American Senior High School in Hialeah, Florida this past Monday and proceed to try “blending in with students.” She truly is a master of disguise:
She allegedly carried a backpack and dressed “similar to students, holding a skateboard, and carrying a painting,” Miami-Dade police said.
After entering the school, she allegedly began handing out pamphlets with her Instagram username on them, asking students to follow her.
HA! Audrey dressed up like the “How do you do fellow kids?” meme and thought she was doing something astounding. And in a way she was–technically, I am astounded. Maybe she should actually enroll in high school because she needs to learn some things. Drew Barrymore dressed up as Josie Grossie in 2020 is a more believable teenager:
But Audrey was clearly dedicated and so after school security stopped her because she was an adult roaming the halls and looked it, she didn’t leave. She kept at it, trying to get children to follow her on social media which totally doesn’t sound like something a predator would do.
School security stopped Francisquini after noticing that she was allegedly roaming the halls while classes were in session, but she told them she was looking for the registration office, according to the outlet.
Instead, Francisquini continued to walk the halls. She was reportedly flagged by security a second time, but allegedly fled from them. Security then reported her as a “potential threat on campus,” police said.
Police identified Francisquini through her Instagram page. She was arrested Monday at her home in North Miami Beach.
Here’s her mugshot:
Investigators say a 28-year-old woman pretended to be a student and went to American Senior High School and passed out flyers promoting her Instagram page.https://t.co/AqtWPh69ef
— WSVN 7 News (@wsvn) May 11, 2021
Audrey got released from jail but it’s not clear if she’s entered an official plea to her charges. Her attorney, Olivia Issertell, did not respond to People with a comment. But a spokesperson for the Miami-Dade County Public Schools did comment, saying:
“This is an unfortunate incident involving a female who trespassed on school grounds under false pretenses. The individual, who posed as a student needing assistance, was approached by school personnel who recognized that she did not belong on campus. Miami-Dade Schools Police made contact with the individual and, subsequently, arrested her for her actions.”
It was bold to assume an almost-30-year-old could pass for a child. I mean, the security probably took one look at Audrey and thought to themselves: “Hey… She’s not wearing Crocs and she has a side part! That’s not a Gen Zer!”
Pic: YouTube