For some inexplicable reason, Kraft keeps trying to make itself synonymous with Valentine’s Day. Last year, they tried to suggest that Kraft dinner would be a great way to keep the kids occupied while busy parents got nasty. And this year for the holiday representing the market-share of True Love they’ve decided to release–checks notes–candy-flavored mac and cheese… So… for Valentine’s Day, you and your partner can have the prettiest pink diarrhea of your lives!
The Takeout says that the latest marketing decision out from Kraft Dinner is pink candy-flavored cheese sauce. …I don’t know guys… I just… don’t know anymore. The official press release says:
“Candy Kraft Mac & Cheese is made with the same cheesy Kraft Mac & Cheese Americans know and love, but includes a candy flavor packet to turn the mac & cheese pink and add hints of sweet candy flavor.
No more noodling on what gift to buy. There is no better way to show your love this Valentine’s Day than saying “you’re the mac to my cheese” with Candy Kraft Mac & Cheese.”
It’s cheesy. It’s sweet. Oh, and it’s completely pink. It’s #CandyKD, here just for Valentine’s Day. Sweet talk us below with a one-liner or love note and you could get a free box. Rules: https://t.co/cLKd6TKiTY pic.twitter.com/Lp4sAZdUCG
— Kraft Dinner (@kraftdinner) January 27, 2021
Please click that tweet and zoom in on the image–it is the highest resolution image of a bowl of macaroni you will ever live to see. Also, if somebody bought me candy-flavored macaroni for any holiday, occasion, or event, I would take it as an act of aggression. And shit only proceeded to get weirder as the KD account started replying to people who they asked to tweet them romantic one-liners in exchange for maybe a box of disgusting macaroni.
This is pretty cheesy, even for us. But you called us KDarling, so you're forgiven. #CandyKD
— Kraft Dinner (@kraftdinner) January 27, 2021
You’re really stirring our pot #CandyKD
— Kraft Dinner (@kraftdinner) January 27, 2021
Is it getting hot in here? #CandyKD
— Kraft Dinner (@kraftdinner) January 27, 2021
But would you delete Tinder for us? #CandyKD
— Kraft Dinner (@kraftdinner) January 27, 2021
We’re barely one month into 2021 and already Kraft Dinner is horny for pink cheese. If you don’t want to degrade yourself flirting with the KD Twitter account, you can enter for a free box here but good luck to your large intestine, sweetie.
Pic: Twitter