Because too much Ryan Seacrest gives me a serious case of the farts, I only watched pieces of Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve last night, so I completely missed the performance by Cyndi Lauper. But after she performed, I started to see tweets and headlines about how “bizarre” it was. I shrugged because she IS so unusual and I like my Cyndi Lauper performances “bizarre.” And then I figured out that by “bizarre,” everyone meant bad. Well, looks like Hell’s Special Place is going to be a lot more crowded with those who spent the last minutes of 2020 dragging legendary goddess Cyndi Lauper!
Many compared Cyndi’s performance from last night to my favorite performance of 2016: Mariah Carey’s beautiful disaster of a NYE performance. But while Mimi’s performance was a lip-synching mess, Cyndi sang live and out in the cold. Cyndi’s performance started with a messy duet of True Colors and some think Billy Porter was not amused by Cyndi’s singing, but I think he caught a glimpse of himself in the monitor and made a mental note to fire the trick who made him wear a toof on his head!
Billy Porter wondering why he agreed to sing with Cyndi Lauper pic.twitter.com/hQbRiDt5fN
— Hannah Patterson (@hannahp4tt) January 1, 2021
And Vulture says that during the transition from True Colors to Cyndi going solo with her song Hope, her glam squad came on stage to fix her up a little as she shouted that she’s still on camera. Then she sang Hope and sounded like a baby alien doing an impersonation of Bjork. So in other words, Cyndi gave us the sound of the future!
"2020 can’t get any worse, there’s just one hour left."
cyndi lauper: pic.twitter.com/r8rdO8jHqJ
— Emerson Lotzia, Jr. (@EmersonLotzia) January 1, 2021
That Cyndi Lauper performance on #RockinEve was on brand for 2020. Can this year end already? pic.twitter.com/3lcWV42sYQ
— Ashley Carter (@AshleyLCarter1) January 1, 2021
We all know that one of the Ten Commandments is Thou Shalt Not Talk Shit About Cyndi Lauper, so there were a lot of tricks committing a sin last night. Besides, how are people going to drag Cyndi Lauper when Noah Cyrus performed last night and Jennifer Lopez made Steven Tyler call 911 by mutilating Dream On?!
Speaking of, those shit-stirrers at CNN just had to interview Mariah Carey during JLo’s performance. After Mimi said she heard music in the background, head shit-stirrer Andy Cohen mentioned that JLo was performing as Mimi searched the box of “Hers” she knows for the name “JLo” and came up empty again:
Not Jlo performing while Mariah Carey speaks
Andy AINT SH*T for mentioning Jlo lmaooooo pic.twitter.com/7bCnSTcYuS
— sex cymbal (@janetjackson_pr) January 1, 2021
That frozen smile on Mimi’s face is the same frozen smile I made when people dared to slam THEE Cyndi Lauper!
Pic: ABC/Getty