During the last few days of 2020, 64-year-old David Simpson was thrown overboard from his yacht. And no, he didn’t sweep up onto shore before Kurt Russell fraudulently claimed him as his wife. Instead of that, David climbed onto a beacon of hope and waited for hours to be rescued. If that’s not something we can all sympathize with during this shitstorm of a year, I don’t know what is.
CNN says that David was out on the Pacific Ocean in Caloundra, on Queensland’s Sunshine Coast with his dog, Mitch, when a strong wave hit them and sent David over. Since he didn’t wanna drown (or get eaten! Bitch, what’s in that water?!) he swam a half-mile to a water beacon and waited to be pushed up by a wave so he could reach the beacon’s ladder. He told Australia’s 9News:
“The wave hit the side of the boat and I was trying to secure the dinghy which had come a little bit adrift and a rope broke holding the dinghy. The dinghy hit me… and I fell about 2.5, 3 meters on my ribs and off the boat.”
After David’s yacht washed up on land with only Mitch onboard, a search was triggered. Three hours later, David was found about 1.6 miles away from his boat. By then he had even tried stripping naked and waving his shorts as a flag.
“Maybe that’s why nobody stopped, because I was naked.”
It woulda worked for Chris Evans, I’ll tell you that. They’d have seen him from space with his pants off. Ian Hunt, commander of the Mooloolaba coastguard said that “he’s a very lucky man to be able to get to that beacon.”
And Mitch and David were later reunited:
#UPDATE – Meet Mitch the dog who spent last night with our lifeguards after they rescued him from the boat which ran aground at #BribieIsland.
He will be reunited with his owner today, in the meantime he will be helping keep watch of beachgoers. pic.twitter.com/GSjoliBfEH
— Surf Life Saving Queensland (SLSQ) (@lifesavingqld) December 30, 2020
So in this story, we’re all David Simpson (but without that whole “owning a yacht” thing) and the beacon is the hope we’re clinging onto while wishing that 2021 won’t be as shitty as 2020. Or we’re all a traumatized Mitch. Yeah, that one, probably.
Pic: Caloundra Volunteer Coast Guard – Facebook