I know you’ve heard about The War on Christmas but have you heard about The Assassination of Chanukah? If not the holiday itself, the pronunciation of the word was badly disfigured by none other than Smokey Robinson. A Twitter user named Jeff Jacobson commissioned a Cameo video from Smokey for his mom and asked him to wish her a Happy Chanukah. Smokey gamely complied (as well he should, his Cameos go for $350, a bargain honestly, legend that he is) but perhaps experienced a little confusion at the spelling of the word, which he pronounced “chanooka,” adding “I have no idea what ‘Chanooka’ is, but happy ‘Chanooka’ because they said so,” making it sound like a Canadian holiday celebrating rock hard bubble gum.
You know that ABC song When Smokey Sings? I used to think they were saying “When Smokey sings, I hear violence” (it’s violins). Well, that particular mondegreen seems fitting now because when Smokey says “Chanukah”, I hear violins. I know I said he assassinated it, but it’s actually a thing of beauty.
My mom grew up on the same street as Smokey Robinson in Detroit. So for Chanukah, I wanted to reunite them via @Cameo. But the video takes a strange twist. pic.twitter.com/IZ3S9WusiJ
— Jeff Jacobson (@jeffjacobson) December 13, 2020
Bless his heart. I’m sure that if his Cameo directive had spelled Chanukah with an “H” as it often is, he would have known what he was saying. Dictionary.com says there are around 20 variations on the spelling.
Chanukah, Hannukah, Hannukkah, and Channukah. Why is this Jewish holiday, also known as the Festival of Lights, spelled in so many ways?
The answer comes down to transliteration. Unlike translation, transliteration is when you “change (letters, words, etc.) into corresponding characters of another alphabet or language.” In Hebrew, the language from which the Jewish festival’s name originates, the word for Hanukkah is not easily transliterated into English. This accounts for why there are so many spelling variants (there are more than 20). But, Hanukkah and Chanukah are the two versions that are most widely used and accepted.
Sure Smokey could have pushed back when he got his marching orders and asked what the hell Chanooka was all about and if he should be running out to get a traditional Chanooka shrub to decorate with smoked salmon and chew on the same piece of Bazooka gum for 8 days and nights (Canadians are INSANE), but he’s fucking busy! It’s Smokey we’re talking about, not Pharrell Williams finally looking his age. I’m sure Smokey had a lot of Cameos to get through that day (Note To Self: check to see if Larry Blackmon of Cameo does Cameos because that would be cool). Jeff’s happy and Jeff’s mom’s happy and that’s all that matters.
By the way, @smokeyrobinson can pronounce it any way he damn well pleases. He is a true legend whose music has been with me since birth. His kindness and generosity of spirit has already made this most-unusual 2020 Chanukah one of my family’s most memorable. Also, my mom says hi.
— Jeff Jacobson (@jeffjacobson) December 14, 2020
Honestly, I’m shocked that newly minted Twitter troll Dionne Warwick hasn’t piped in on the matter. At any rate, Canada, here’s your chance to make Chanooka a reality. Maybe you can fit it in somewhere between Victoria Day and National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day, ya nuts.
Pic: Cameo via Twitter
