While Pink seemed to sing live while busting out some Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark shit on the side of a building like a crazy person, Selena Gomez seemed to have given her vocal cords the night off and chose to Britney it instead (although TMZ denies it, claiming she only used a backing track). But in Selena’s defense, she got a kidney transplant this past summer, and if I had a kidney transplant this past summer, I’d still be in bed and making my friends and family wait on me. “Michael, it’s been fifteen years since you’ve gotten that kidney. Don’t you think you should get out of bed already and stop making me get your favorite comfort meal of Popeye’s chicken with KFC sides?”
Selena and that handless coffee mug (that ain’t a marshmallow, stop it) performed their song Wolves at the American Music Awards last night, and well, it was something that happened. Selena, who is now a greasy shade of Bieber blond, moved her mouth on a mic while looking about as out of it as a still drunk me when I get up in the middle of the night to piss. As a bruised and busted up Selena stumbled around her wrecked car, a chorus of sister wives in Keds let the devil take over their bodies while they busted out moves choreographed by Regan from The Exorcist. I think the shrug at the end pretty much sums the whole thing up.
Selena looked dazed and confused, and that might have been part of her performance since she’s supposed to be a car crash victim and shit. Or maybe, right before her performance, she was suddenly hit with the realization that she’s boning Justin Bieber again and is a member of a “church” whose leader looks like a Terry Richardson fanboy.
Pics: ABC, Wenn.com