Some of our livers are currently screaming, “Please don’t play a drinking game where you do a shot every time Amy Schumer says some stupid shit, we can’t take it!”, which means the 2022 Oscars are tonight (now with fewer awards and even more montages)! Oscar-winner Mark Rylance, who is in Best Picture nominee Don’t Look Up, has already said that he’s not going to tonight’s Oscars because to para-quote legendary philosopher Ouiser Boudreaux, why would Mark go to the Oscars when he can nap at home for free?! Lin-Manuel Miranda also announced that he won’t be at tonight’s Oscars, but it’s not because he thinks that shit is boring, it’s because his wife just tested positive for COVID-19.
Lin-Manuel Miranda is up for the Best Original Song Oscar for writing Dos Oruguitas from Encanto. Also, Tick, Tick…Boom!, which he directed, is up for Best Actor (Andrew Garfield) and Best Editing. LMM has already got a couple of Emmys, and a few Grammys and Tonys, so if he wins tonight, not only will he have won his first Oscar, but he’ll be inducted into the EGOT Hall of Fame. But if he does win, he won’t be there to accept his Oscar in person (as the Beyhive declares him Beyhive Enemy #1 for beating Beyonce), because his wife Vanessa Nadal got COVID. LMM tweeted that they found out right after they arrived in Hollywood for tonight’s ceremony. LMM test negative, but instead of going to the Oscars anyway and humming “We don’t talk about COVID…” to himself every time someone asks where his wife is, he decided to be responsible and sit the show out and will stay with his wife:
Made it to Hollywood…
This weekend, my wife testedfor COVID.
She's doing fine. Kids & I have tested, but out of caution, I won't be going to the Oscars tomorrow night. Cheering for my TickTickBoom & Encanto families w my own family, alongside all of you, ALL of you. -LMM
— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) March 26, 2022
for COVID.
, but out of caution, I won't be going to the Oscars tomorrow night. Cheering for my TickTickBoom & Encanto families w my own family, alongside all of you, ALL of you. -LMMThe Oscars were planning to have barely any COVID restrictions but with the Omicron variant BA.2 fucking with the people of Los Angeles, the Academy announced that anyone who has tested positive for COVID within the past five days, is not allowed to attend. And they also announced rules for those who have tested positive six to ten days ago. via IndieWire:
Those who are testing positive but are within a six- to 10-day window from the date of their first positive test must provide a negative PCR, Lucira, or Cue Health test, and it must be administered by a medically trained professional. If attendees are testing positive outside the 10-day window from March 17 at 1 p.m., they must provide a negative antigen test from a medical supervisor, taken on March 26 or March 27.
This year’s Oscars are still a mask-optional event though, so we’ll see if it turns out the way this year’s BAFTAs may have turned out and becomes a super-spreader event. If so, then the plastic surgeon who is offering a $12,000 “Celebrity Arms Sculpting” lipo procedure as part of the nominees’ six-figure gift bag, may have celebrities asking him, “Can you also lipo out the COVID I caught at the fucking Oscars?”
Pic: Startraksphoto.com