It’s that time of year again. People are cracking out their autumn attire, winter depression is preparing to settle in, and the Netherlands’ penis plant has finally blossomed. It’s been two dry long decades since we’ve been graced by the beauty of the penis plant (or the Amorphophallus decus-silvae if you’re classy, but let’s not kid ourselves here). The plant features a bud that’s over 3 feet tall and a “narrow stem” (how rude, CNN!) that’s over 6 feet high.
But as they say, it’s not the size that counts, it’s the stench! When the penis plant blossoms, it releases a horrific odor similar to rotting flesh. And while that might not meet YOUR high standards, pollinators are attracted to the smell and help spread its pollen. Science is such a beautiful, horny field! via CNN:
In a Netherlands garden blooms a rare plant with a tall, phallic shape. It’s known as the “penis plant,” and this is only the third time the species has flowered in Europe since 1997, according to the University of Leiden’s botanical garden, Leiden Hortus Botanicus.
The six-year-old penis plant — the scientific name for which is Amorphophallus decus-silvae — was cultivated by garden volunteer Rudmer Postma, according to a news release. Garden personnel first noticed the flower bud in mid-September, and in just over a month, the bud has become about half a meter (over 3 feet) tall, with the narrow stem reaching up to 2 meters (over 6 feet) high.
“Few botanical gardens have Amorphophallus decus-silvae in their collection, making the flowering of the plant particularly rare,” the release noted.
Native to tropical rainforest-rich Indonesia, the penis plant requires a very warm and humid growing environment and is therefore difficult to grow in Europe. But its terrible, pungent odor — akin to rotting flesh — helps gardeners predict when the plant will flower, which according to the release, happens in two stages: the female bloom phase and the male bloom phase.
However, much like true love, not all things can last. Soon after the penis plant finishes, it collapses and withers as most peens do. Here it is a week after blossoming:
The penis plant will be back though. According to the deputy executive director of the US Botanical Garden:
That bloom is just using up all of the energy that’s been stored in that corm. And so in order to bloom again, that corm has to produce a series of leaves over … somewhere between probably three and 10 or 12 years in order to get enough energy built back up in the corm to support a bloom
Farewell, penis plant! You’ll bloom again (as soon as someone slips you some Viagra)!
Pic: Instagram